I’m pleased to say we had a really nice Ava Day. And to put everyone’s mind at rest, we didn’t spend the day in sadness… I honestly didn’t miss her more on Wednesday than I already do. We just wanted this day to be about celebrating Ava’s life and to make it a little special for our kids and that’s what we did.
In the morning I had a visit from my special sweethearts – Aleeda and Britton… along with their mother Tanya as well of course.. haha. Sarah was supposed to go to school but wanted to stay at home to see them, and when I saw her playing with the girls, I knew I was never going to tear her away to send her back to school. She loves them so much and in a way they are her surrogate little sister’s, so I’m glad she was able to spend them with them. Aleeda and Britton are getting so big!
Tanya and I had a nice visit too. It’s still kinda seems weird hanging out with Tanya and the girls in our homes, especially after spending so much time together in Sick Kids waiting for hearts. We used to sit outside the girls rooms in the hall of ward 4D and pretend it was our front porch. The nurses would come by to chat and we had so many good times – it made the hard days bearable. And it would be awesome if the nurses could still just drop by from time to time to join Tanya and I, but I know they have work to do. The nurses did make our Ava day extra special by sending me a whole envelope of paper birdy’s they cut out… we were so touched and the kids put them up all over the house to decorate for Ava day.
The eyes are courtesy of Sarah – I think she drew them on each one, and there were lots.
We actually have a house full of Christmas birdies right now… I love it.
And this birdy ornament…
Oh so fitting, God does surround us by His grace.
My cousin emailed me and told me that whenever she sees a Christmas bird decoration she thinks of us and Ava…and I liked that. I see bird’s now wherever I go and I don’t remembering ever seeing them before. We also received this special little bird from some friends…
So sweet. But it’s not only that these bird’s remind me of my own little Birdy – for us they are a symbol of God’s faithfulness. A reminder that during such a difficult time, He never once left us on our own, and gave us the grace and strength we needed every day. And so now when we see birds, we remember.
OK – so I didn’t think we were going to go to Ava’s grave on Wednesday because by the time Jason would get home from work we would be visiting a cold and dark graveyard… not a chance. But then Jason thought we could pick the kids up for lunch at school and go during their lunch-break, so that’s what we did. We grabbed some food and headed out there, and we brought some things to decorate the Birdy rain-meter that I marked her grave with (cuz we haven’t picked a stone yet).
The combination of decorations isn’t strictly beautiful, but it’s the thought that counts.
We corralled the kids for a photo…
And then headed back. And on the way home William said to us… “So, I hate to say it, but this was pretty boring.” Oh dear… and what a riot. Sorry William, I just couldn’t make visiting your sister’s grave on her birthday more interesting, but I guess next year I will try harder.
We wound up the day with cake and pizza and more friends and all in all it was a really nice Ava day. I don’t have to say that it would have been 100 times better if we were actually celebrating a birthday with Ava, but I imagine that’s understood.
But I always have to keep coming back to where she is, rather than where she isn’t. She’s fully alive in heaven… my baby no longer, but a new creature who is fully aware of the glory of God. In a place where there is no pain or sadness or death. Praise God, she is more alive than we are.
4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
So see… we do have something to celebrate on this Ava day, she is in an amazing place and we will see her again!!