So happy to share…

Some sneak peeks – 3D pics of our little Birdy!

These are from the MRI that I had and I just can’t get over them and how familiar she looks.   I think that she might even be sucking her thumb!

She looks like Erik from the profile…  then she looks like Sophia when she is sucking her thumb, and her long torso and feet remind me of William, and seeing her curled up reminds me of Sarah.

It makes me that much more anxious and excited to meet her –  by this time next week she might be here,  which is something to look forward too.

God bless you my little Birdy!

Ruin my life

Oh these crazy followers of Jesus Christ, and the crazy songs that they choose to sing!

Why would anyone sing a song asking God to ruin their life?  Talk about very scary stuff.    And to be honest when we first started singing this song at church I was a little bothered, thinking that I’m not singing that,  I like my life just how I like it, thank-you!

But then we got pregnant with number 5 – that huge surprise.  And we sang the song again at church on that first Sunday after and I cried.  NOT that I was thinking that God was in the process of ruining my life per-see… but that His plans were clearly not my plans.. here’s what we sang…

Woe to me I am unclean
A sinner found in Your presence
I see you seated on Your throne
Exalted, Your Glory surrounds You

And the plans that I have made, fail to compare, when I see your glory…

Ruin my life  – the plans I have made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken Your place
‘Till its You alone I live for, 
You alone I live for.

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty 
Holy is the Lord! 

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty 
Holy is the Lord!   ( Jeff Johnson)

And so it’s kinda become Jason and my theme song through this whole pregnancy situation if you will.    We do now feel in a way like life as we know it has been ruined, I know whatever the outcome of this pregnancy is, we will have been changed forever.   But the amazing part it, we will have been changed for the better.

God is taking hold of our lives.   And even though I cling and I fight and I cry and occasionally think about how my life would look if none of this happened,  I can see that striping all the external stuff away, letting go of all my plans of how I thought things would turn out,  and just focusing on God and doing my best to be obedient and having faith in Him is so incredibly beautiful and rewarding.

There is an amazing sense of peace that God has given me as my time gets closer (thanks for praying everyone!) and I know that any strength I have has come from him.     And we can know for certain that this is His plan and His alone because He has taken such incredible care of us through the past months,  which brings me so much joy because I can know that I don’t have to worry about one minute of one day going forward, He is going before us and will take care of us.

And in this world where the biggest thing seems to be control…where we feel like we always need to be in control…  just know it’s all a sham.  We have so little control.    But don’t despair,   when God starts to move and plans and lives start to be ruined,  it doesn’t have to be negative, just cling to Him and move with him and it can truly be the best thing that ever happened to you.


Where things are at

Monday Jason and I spent a long day in Toronto.  It was a very long and full day,  but thankfully there wasn’t much waiting time between appointments so the day itself seem to fly by…  except for the drive home.    We hit rain and traffic and together proved a very long and frustrating combination, but we made it home safely.

We left here at 6:15 am to make it to Sick Kids for our first appointment at 9:30 and actually made it there nice and early.   I think Remembrance Day day had something to do with that as there seemed to be hardly any traffic downtown.   All those bankers and Government offices taking the day off, lucky them.    But it was nice to have the streets clear for a change.

So just after we registered for our echocardiogram – our first appointment of the day – our contact there, Nathalie,   asked if I would mind having an MRI before the echocardiogram.   She had talked to me before about having one for research purposes, but the timing just hadn’t worked out.   So since there was an opening right then I said OK.

And it is a for a good cause.   They are doing research right now on baby’s with Congenital heart defects to see how these baby’s are managing their blood flow  in utero and the only way to really see that is with an MRI.    The information they will glean from it won’t help our baby specifically, but just knowing that the information might help other baby’s down the road makes it worth it.

I’ve never had an MRI before, but as I’m one tired momma I was just hoping it would be a place where I could have a nap.  Those of you who have had one just thought, “ha ha, yeah right”.   But I was hopeful and they did make me very comfortable on my side with pillows and foam until I felt quite tucked in.  But what I did not know that those crazy contraptions make the weirdest  loudest noises one has ever heard.   But I just relaxed, prayed that God would keep me still and let me sleep,  and truthfully I did drift in and out in spite of the noise, so I actually felt pretty rested when I was done.  I also felt rather tousled and sported a great bed-head for the rest of the day, but now I can say I’ve done my part for research.  And the Cardiologist who was over-seeing the MRI showed me some cool pics of the baby after, so that was a neat bonus.

Next it was the echocardiogram and that turned into a bit of an adventure too because Birdy is very comfortable in a position that is NOT helpful for getting clear pictures of her heart.  So our Cardiologist fellow (cardiologist in training) had to call in an experienced tech to help who then in turn just handed it over to Dr. Jaeggi our Cardiologist himself so he could try to get some clear pictures.

The baby’s heart hasn’t improved, but that was to be expected.  He doesn’t think her aortic arch is constricted, which is good, but they will get a better view in three weeks when she is born.  So thankfully the right side of her heart still looks good and she is still a good candidate for surgery afterwards.  Awesome.

So then we met a Dr and nurse practitioner from the newly formed ‘Single Ventricle’ team that will be caring for Birdy after she is born.  We are definitely in good hands!  But they did stress again just how serious of a heart condition she has, but I was comforted in knowing that they have no expectations and just will just track with her at her own pace, even when it comes to things like nursing.   But talking to them was a huge reality check – things are not going to be easy at all.    She is going to have a long recovery time and they basically told us we wouldn’t be home for Christmas.  I already knew that, but it’s not nice to hear it.   It all seems so daunting, but I’m so thankful for a God that keeps renewing my strength when my strength is gone.

And then it was over to the High Risk Pregnancy clinic to meet our OB and see what he had to say.  And the good news is that Birdy is now 6 lbs 7 ounces!  Woo hoo.    She is going to be a good size baby like her siblings, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was over 8 lbs even at two weeks early.  And our OB, Dr. Ryan is wonderful.  He is the man who did the intervention on Birdy’s heart back in August and is quite the miracle worker over at Mt. Sinai with unborn babies.   And since I know that when I’m induced, I’ll be seeing whatever OB is on call that day,  I mentioned to him that I might not see him again, but he said, “You’ll see me again”… and then proceeded to change our induction date to the 3rd instead of the 4th.    Jason and I think he did that so that he will be there for the birth, which would be wonderful.

So now we don’t go back to Toronto until December 2nd where we will stay the night before heading to the hospital in the morning… Lord willing.  We will call on the Sunday to make sure the induction is still a go, and if it is, that means it’s less than 3 weeks away… AUGGGG!!!

I still am having a hard time wrapping my heart around the fact that I have to leave my other kids.   But my brain (and other people)  assure that the kids will be fine.  They are resilient  they will be well cared for and loved,  and they can come and visit, and who knows, maybe even I can come home from time to time.    It’s just my heart that still cries whenever I think of leaving my precious baby’s.  Oh this is not going to be easy.

So please pray for us, we have so many hurdles to jump through, still so much to get prepared for in the next three weeks and pray that even through this time, we can still Glorify God who has a plan for us and knows exactly what He is doing.

So that is where things are at.

A little change…

A little change for a little girl.    Our sweet Sophia’s hair had been getting long… but I wasn’t loving it.    Her hair is fine and thin and her curl was disappearing and the long straight hair just wasn’t doing her any justice when it was down.

So after we got daddy’s approval, we headed down to my friend Angie’s on Thursday for a change.   Sophia went from this…

To this…

We love it.  It shows off her little chin now, some curl has come back and it looks so cute down.

It’s nice what a little change can do.

Our sweet Sophy.

Pumpkin Fun

Wow – its November already, where did October go?    We certainly enjoyed October, with Thanksgiving and the fall leaves and the constant rain… well maybe not the constant rain… but even that couldn’t keep my kids spirit’s down two nights ago… they were all pumped up and raring to go like they are every year.

And of course we had a complete cast of characters all ready to go…  plus another two since we were so happy to have my friend Christa join us with her two kids.

So we had a ninja…

And a Lego ninja… great minds definitely think alike…

our very own Minion…

and a pirate princess who looks so impressed to be getting her picture taken.  Ahoy there matey…


And two sweet little princesses.

They had a wonderful time in spite of the cold and rain and even though they didn’t stay out as long as in other years, they still brought back more than enough candy as far as I was concerned!

But the biggest hit of the night was Jason’s pumpkins…

I didn’t realize my husband was such an overachiever!  But he did a wonderful job and everyone that came certainly enjoyed them as well!

Here are a few up close..

Darth Vader…

an angry bird…

and my favourite… just a little fuzzy unfortunately, a hello kitty for the girls.

And when did he have time to carve these all?  Well the night before, my dear friend Kim around the corner invited all the neighbours to a pumpkin carving party!   We had a blast!

Kim in one of those amazing people who has the amazing ability to bring everyone together.  If every neighbourhood had a Kim, I would guarantee you would know all your neighbours and have a wonderful time getting together with them, it’s a huge blessing.   And she gives great mom hugs to my kids…

So while I enjoyed my time indoors near the food,  the dads were hard at work in the garage carving those pumpkins…

I know they had a good time.  Well I’m mostly sure, I didn’t spend a whole lot of quality time in the garage that night.   I’m not ashamed to say to say that  I did not touch even the tiniest pumpkin this year, but left it all in Jason’s capable hands.  And look at what an amazing job he did!

So that was the end of October for us.  Full of friends and food and fun times, and now it’s November.   Just over a month to enjoy being at home with the kids before we go to Toronto.  So even though I’ve never actually made a point of trying to enjoy the month of November, I think this year I will definitely try.

Don’t forget – Hydro Time of Use has changed!

This is my public service announcement  as I’m wasting time on the computer waiting till 11:00 so I can put in another load of laundry. 🙂

The Hydro time of use rates have changed again for the season (for our area)  and I personally didn’t think that the change has been that well advertised hence the announcement.    Here’s the new break-down…

ON-PEAK time is from 7 am – 11 am and 5 pm – 7 pm.

MID-PEAK is now from 11 am – 5 pm

OFF-PEAK is still the same, from 7 pm  – 7 am.

We still have an electric water heater, so that means very short showers if you are showering at my house after 7 am… I guess it’s time to get up a little earlier!

Have a great day.