Day by day

There has been so much going on these past few days.  Ever since we’ve listed Ava it feels like a whirl-wind and it’s been so busy and I haven’t been getting much rest or down-time and I think I’m feeling my age.  There is a woman who comes once a week to give quick 15 minute massages here at the Ronald MacDonald House and I got one this week and she was a little surprised at how tense my shoulders were… a little bit of stress maybe?   🙂    But Jason has just left with the kids to go home for a few days, so that leaves me here with just Ava  to concentrate on, and that’s good because our poor little Birdy has had a rough couple of days.

First off, two nights ago I had gotten to bed late and then was up with Erik at 1:30 am as he woke up in pain, poor guy.   We got him sorted out so I got back to sleep after 2:00 just to be woken up at 4:30 by the hospital calling to say that Ava’s heart was beating super fast and they thought her heart had maybe gotten into an arrhythmia – not good.   So off I went to the hospital and thankfully she was feeling  a bit better by the time I got there, and we both could go back to sleep.   But you could tell that she wasn’t feeling great yesterday, and then today she really hasn’t been feeling good at all.  She still has a bit of a cough left from the para-influenza that she caught, and that is bothering her, but her poor little heart has been beating super fast today, and she is back on oxygen and just not feeling well at all, so they gave her some morphine this morning and she slept most of the day.

I’m going back to the hospital now to spend the night with her and I would ask you to pray.   Jason and I aren’t dumb, we know Ava is a very sick little baby.  I want to hope for a new heart and I do, but my prayer is that if God isn’t planning on sending her a new heart, that He wouldn’t keep her around here to suffer, you know what I mean?    I just have such a hard time seeing her uncomfortable or in pain, especially after everything she has been through and Jason and I both feel that we just want God to heal her, one way or the other.

Oh my precious sweet baby.  It’s very hard to watch you go through what you do, day after day.   Oh God, please be merciful to Ava.  She’s in your hands.