Home

We are home, and it feels strange.  I think it’s maybe like how a solder feels after being away on the battle-ground, and then finds himself home and the battle is over.   We are grieving the loss our sweet daughter and we miss her so much.  But on the other hand, there is so much relief that she is finally at peace and isn’t hurting anymore.   It’s grief mixed with relief.   And it all comes in waves.  One minute we are fine and dealing with practical issues, and then the next minute we are swamped with feelings of sadness.  I didn’t want to go to bed last night because I knew that once I actually stopped being busy I would probably just cry and cry.  And I did.    But knowing what she was going through in the last days of her life helps comfort me knowing that she is more alive in heaven right now then we are here down on earth.  She is free from her body of death and has gone into eternal light.

And I’m happy to report that the kids are doing good.  One of the doctor’s from the PACT team told us that children grieve in puddles and adults grieve in rivers.  And I liked that and it’s proving to be true.    The kids hop in and out of their sadness, sad one minute and happy the next, which really isn’t unlike Jason and I, I just think we feel it deeper.

But oh I miss my baby!  What I wouldn’t give to have her back wtih us!   But in my heart I know that she had to go.   The doctors and nurses were very honest with me which we appreciated so much, and I’m so glad we could let Ava go before her suffering got worse.

And we just wanted to thank everyone again for all the kindness showed to us.  For Jason’s parents who came down to see Ava before she died, for my parents who came and supported us and cared for our kids during her death.  For the nurses and doctors and staff from our ward 4D at Sick Kids who showed us so much kindness and compassion… they really do feel like my family now.  We want to thank our church family for praying and supporting us, for my friend’s who cleaned my house this week, for friends who brought food and flowers to welcome us home.   And for all you readers who have left us comments just letting us know that you are here for us.

Tomorrow I will give you some info about the funeral, but I have to go now because I am too tired to think.  But happy (mostly) to be at home, even if it’s without our Birdy.

,

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Home

  1. Can’t even imagine your loss but you are strong and your kids take after you! You will all come through this stronger! IF Love could keep people alive many would never have to die!!!!!!!! Love you

  2. To see God’s wonderful grace working in and through my daughter is such encouragement. This is an especially touching and insightful blog.
    As I have often said before, ‘Having you as daughter, has often made we wish I had more wonderful daughters”
    Love
    Dad

  3. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through but so glad you have Jesus to carry you through it all. Lots of love and prayers to your family from ours.

  4. You are constantly in my thoughts Lisa and I’m praying for you often. I’m asking our Father to cradle you in His arms tonight and give you sweet rest.

    The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17).

    I pray you continue to be taken deeper and deeper into intimacy with Him. Your joy and faith have been one of the most encouraging and incredible testimonies I have ever witnessed. Thank you for allowing us a window into your journey and for letting The Lord use the story of your life to touch the hearts of so many. I can’t imagine all the waves of emotions and how difficult it must be. Call to Him every moment you need to…He will answer you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s