Today the girls and I and Grandma went to visit Ava’s grave and put a few flowers on it. I hope this isn’t super morbid or anything, but I wanted to show you what a sweet peaceful place it is where we laid Ava to rest… just a little country cemetery where the only noise you’ll hear is the birds and the breeze.
Ava’s resting place is in the top center of the picture… where the grass sitting up higher with the bouquet on top between the two headstones. It’s certainly not a morbid place for the girls, they seem to enjoy going and today they enjoyed pumping water from the old-fashioned well and watering Ava’s grass – although Sophia kept saying we were ‘watering Ava’. Oh dear. Because it’s a small country cemetery you can plant flowers on the graves and Sarah thought that we should water all the flowers on everyone’s graves, but we declined for lack of time. We watered the flowers in the cemetery’s flowerbeds and called it a day.
And talking of days, tomorrow the kids start school! I’m really looking forward to having us all back in routine and I’ve purposely planned for this week to be busy so that time won’t weigh heavy on my hands. It helps that Jason is still off this week so I won’t be alone. And we are travelling to Toronto on Tuesday and will be at Sick Kids to pay a visit to Tanya and Alleeda and baby Britton – as well as all of our friends on 4D!!! I can’t wait… I miss everyone so much and they have been so supportive that we feel very blessed.
It’s hard to believe that this coming Thursday it will be 4 weeks since Ava passed away. The reality of her being gone is starting to sink in and even last night I was feeling really down until I was encouraged by a friend, and then I thought of a verse that another friend had sent to encourage me, Romans 8:18 where Paul says…. “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us…” and it was such a good reminder to me that yes, there is suffering in this world, but it’s all worth it. And I can tell you that I miss my baby from the bottom of my heart, sometimes the tears won’t stop and I just wish she was here. But you know what, I’ve come to realize that I would do it all over again – every minute with Ava. I would because of what she taught me and how God changed me, and the people we met and how our family grew together and how we leaned to count our blessings.
So praise God that even now I can even now appreciate a sunny peaceful place, remembering with joy that Ava isn’t really there, she is alive and rejoicing in Heaven and someday I will see her again.