Yesterday was two years since Ava passed away… 2 years! Time goes by so quickly and it’s a little tough because the memories fade, but the ache our hearts isn’t going away. I don’t think it ever will.
Last night when I put Sophy to bed I sang to her like I usually do. I’ve always loved singing my kids to sleep at night – especially when they were babies. I realized early on that hymns make great lullabies, they are often lilting and long – so I set out to memorize a few favorites and the kids would often be regaled by my singing them such hymns as “Great is thy faithfulness” or “Be thou my vision.” (One of my favourites). But I also would sing to them a little ditty that I learned from a children’s tape that we had growing up (yes, a cassette tape). I just tried to find it on the world-wide web for reference, but can’t somehow. The words go like this…
Jesus is coming
Coming for me
Like lightning, that flashes from the west to the east
In a moment
In a twinkling of an eye
The song is based on Matthew 24:27 when it talks about the 2nd coming of Christ and how He will return one day to earth…
For as the lightning comes from the east and shines as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.
It’s something that all of us believers in Christ look forward too – the day that Jesus will come again to earth and call to Himself His own. It will also mark the end of this age and the beginning of the next… good heavy stuff.
But back to my lullabies… singing that song to Sophy last night reminded me that I used to sing Ava that little ditty quite often. My precious little Birdy – in the hospital, on the nights that I could tuck her in for the night. I would sing to her like I sang to her brothers and sisters when they were babies, but in my mind I was always singing it to her with the thought that Jesus might just come and get her in the here and now.
And then in the moments when Ava did die – and Jason prayed that sweet soul into heaven, the relief of knowing that Jesus had finally come and gotten her and taken her home and released her of all her suffering was like a presence right there right with us. I’ll never forget that sense of peace and release we were given. Her earthy journey was over and her heavenly one just begun. And I’m so thankful that’s where she is now – in heaven with Christ, praising and glorifying him and more alive than we could ever be here on earth.
Lately I’ve added another song to my nightly repertoire, “10,000 Reasons” by Matt Redman. We sang it at Ava’s funeral and for some reason it just struck me lately that it would also be a great lullaby and anyway, Sophie likes it. And I love the reminder that I have 10,000 things to be thankful for and that I can still bless the Lord with all my soul and that when I get to heaven I’ll have 10,000 years to sing His praises. Hallelujah!
And I’m also so grateful for the memory of singing my sweet little Ava to sleep.