Our two sweet girls did so well today! And Jason and I survived the day as well. I’m still feeling the after effects of the huge shock we received yesterday, but I feel tonight like perhaps I’ve moved a bit closer to accepting Sarah’s diagnosis. For most of the day today though, I would just look at her and think of it and start to cry, still not believing that she is going to have diabetes now for the rest of her life. It even still seems surreal when I type it. It just doesn’t seem possible.
We learned so much today at the Diabetes day clinic we attended all day with Sarah, and even though it was information over-load on our very tired brains, I think we retained some of it. We learned that to get juvenile diabetes you first have to have the genetic predisposition to it – and then there is some sort of environmental trigger to start it. When both of those factors come together, your body starts attacking your beta cells from your pancreas – and since the beta cells create insulin, your body’s ability to make insulin disappears.
The frustrating thing is, is that they have no idea what the trigger is that starts it, or if there are different triggers – they just really don’t know anything at this point.
But we were assured today that it wasn’t anything that we did, or Sarah did, nor was it caused by eating too much sugar. It just happened. Just like Ava having Turner’s Syndrome. Like my dad says, we live in a fallen world, full of sin and decay and these things are just a part of life. I’m just having a hard time accepting that they are now part of my life. It’s our new reality, and I’m still bothered by it!
Anyway, we spent the day being educated by a really kind nurse and a dietitian learning about the types of insulin and how it works and how to inject her and when Sarah can eat and what she can eat.
So the drill for Sarah now is 2 injections of insulin in the morning before breakfast, 2 more injections of insulin before dinner and we have to check her blood sugars 4 times a day, so that’s 4 times a day she needs her fingers poked to get a drop of blood. That’s 8 pokes a day, my poor girl. But if anyone is tough, it’s Sarah. She had blood drawn in emerg yesterday with a butterfly needle and she watched it and didn’t get upset at all, she is much better at all this than I would have been at her age!
And thankfully Sarah doesn’t have to change her diet, she can still eat everything like normal – it’s just when she can eat has changed, they have put her on an eating schedule. Eventually I’m sure Sarah will get an insulin pump which will make life so much easier, but for now, it’s lots of pokes and a plan. Oh well.
And again, Sarah did great all day. Now she didn’t want to check her blood at lunch and really didn’t want her insulin at dinner, and I of course had to be the one to give it to her! I didn’t want to poke her with a needle just as much as she didn’t want me to poke her, but I think I was the only one crying. 🙂 We managed – thankfully the injections are done with a special pen like thing – and then she was fine tonight when we checked her sugars. Actually she was mad at us for not having a tissue ready to wipe the blood off of her finger after, but I would rather her be mad then sad or upset!
And can I just say how much I appreciated everyone’s kind words and comments today? Jason and I both appreciated them to much, and found them so encouraging! You all don’t know how much your supportive words mean to us, they help, they really do.
And I can’t forget to tell you about Ava, sweet little Ava! She was a doll today! I think God knew we wouldn’t have the strength to worry about her today and we didn’t have to, she had a great day. And we did end up getting to spend quite a bit of time with her during our breaks with Sarah. And we had a great nurse today who let Sarah spend time with Ava too.. that was wonderful.
And best of all, this afternoon Ava had her eyes open and was looking all around, it was so sweet. She is being weaned off her morphine so she’s not in such a daze, and we loved seeing her eyes all bright and open. And I helped give her a bath today and I got to lift her up while the nurse changed her sheet, how wonderful it felt to hold her! I haven’t held her since December 5th, 16 days ago, and it did my momma’s heart good just to hold her in my hands for those few seconds. And she’s even breathing on her own tonight even though they haven’t removed the ventilator. And she had her catheter removed, so we are definitely making progress, we are so thankful.
So thanks to God’s grace we made it through this day. We are exhausted, but encouraged by how well things went today. Please keep praying that both our little troopers would have good days tomorrow as well.